Author Archive

Returning in style

Posted: June 9, 2012 by Narruc in Life

As the sun rises rapidly and the self-shame runs deep, there’s only one thing a man can do: blog. So we’ll strike back with panache in the near future.

FUCK IT, PUCKETT.

Posted: January 13, 2011 by Narruc in Gaming

Liberally penned by Narruc and Shake with passionate input from Kevin.

For my good friends, without whom I would be sane. (Also, all the MLG sponsors: Dr Pepper, Old Spice, Doritos, BIC and the rest)

”I think Neighbor is a cancer.” – Roy

Foreword
When we refer to ourselves as the biggest MLG fans this side of the Atlantic, we’re not lying. We’ve followed MLG closely since 2008, keeping close track of all the player transfers, tournament results, sponsorship deals and even, to a small extent, the personal lives of the MLG staff. This conspiracy theory is not meant to slander the good name of MLG in any way (although we do actually believe it’s true, we just can’t find concrete proof). If our theory does nothing but entertain you then we would be quite happy with that. We recognize that without any substantial evidence, our claims have no basis and that they will not have the profound affect upon you that we would hope for. However, if you could shelve your logic for a few moments, it would go along way in helping you see things from our perspective.

Introduction
Remember, believing is seeing.

Chapter One: Puckett my man!
It’s funny the things you talk about when you’re in a party with your friends and you’re playing some Halo 3 (CTF Onslaught to be exact). What’s even funnier is when you pretend to be scoring the final flag for Str8 Rippin in their 2008 national championships final game against Instinct. What is funnier again is when you start announcing your victory of the 08 nationals despite only scoring the fourth flag, before you friend does an impression of a nervous Sundance DiGiovanni telling Puckett to calm down while trying not to make it obvious that he’s furious with him for letting slip that the entire tournament was a fix.

Let’s take a look at the ”evidence”. Final Boss dropped Walshy earlier in the season – because of this, they were no longer marketable. We suspect that at this point, MLG decided that in order to protect the league and the success of their company, they would have to intervene. (It’s also worth wondering if Final Boss’ reign of domination was too long. Perhaps the league was becoming too boring and that money making opportunities were dwindling due to worrying lack of diversity in the teams.) Final Boss completely slipped off the radar, yet the fan favourite, Walshy, ended up in the season’s national championship finals, against all odds. On the other side, we had Str8 Rippin. A team who lost, arguably their best player, but was replaced by an up and coming star that many young fans could relate to, or at least believed they could. Besides the addition of Snip3down to the team, Str8 Rippin made one another crucial pick up: Dr Pepper.

Obviously, Str8’s performances would dictate how much money they would earn for themselves and MLG. Hence, Str8 Rippin were awarded the tournament by the powers that be at MLG. Puckett made a critical error, though, and exposed their plots for exploitation. Some argue that Str8 were always going to win the final game against Instinct but a seasoned commentator like Puckett knows that anything can happen in Halo and would not have made the mistake under normal circumstances.

Chapter Two: Rat Face in a Rat Race
For their perfect role in MLG’s money making scheme during the 08 National Championships, Str8 Rippin were rewarded with not only $100,000, but also a house in which they could live and practice in, improving on their teamwork to continue their league dominance and winning the approval of Dr Pepper. Unbeknownst to Str8, however, MLG sabotaged their new ‘Str8nctuary’ so that they could not connect to the internet and subsequently failed to get enough practice to win the 2009 season opener. We believe that MLG wanted to ‘mix things up.’ Str8 came back strong, though, and won out convincingly in Columbus. This appeased Str8 fans but their high was about to come to and end.

MLG decided that the role of dominance should shift to another popular team: Triggers Down. An underdog was also chosen, Believe the Hype, led by Cloud who would cause ripples in the swimming pool of MLG before making an absolute wave at the end of the season and leaving no water in the pool.

Triggers Down enjoyed a great degree of success. Despite, however, their text book halo and iGotUrPistola’s exceptional slaying, they could not win over the fans. Fearful of losing sponsors, MLG came to the conclusion that an element of nostalgia was necessary and decided that the 2009 nationals should be awarded to an old fan favourite, Team Classic, in order to boost revenue from merchandise sales at events. MLG hoped that this would spark more interest in Halo 3 from die hard Halo 2 fans and arouse the interest of sponsors. Popular Halo veteran, Ghostayame, was appointed to lead Team Classic to victory in the 2009 nationals while also developing an entirely new style of Halo. BTH, appointed underdogs by MLG earlier in the season, had different plans.

Triggers Down were deemed unstoppable by many Halo enthusiasts. They were firm favourites to take home the 2009 nationals and MLG acknowledged that it would take something remarkable to stop them, without raising suspicisions from astute viewers. They decided that a hardware malfunction was the best way to go about it, seemingly killing all of TD’s momentum and allowing Classic to rally and produce an immense comeback. We believe Hysteria’s Xbox was programmed to ‘red ring’ at a certain point in the game. Such an event is not likely to happen accidentally, especially in a national championship. Surely if MLG ran legitimate tournaments they would test their hardware extensively, particularly the Xboxs used on the main stage.

By this point, Believe the Hype had established themselves as somewhat of a rebellious team that did not play within the normal parameters of a Halo team. They continued this in the 09 nationals, making it all the way to the finals. MLG were furious as they had been told to ”choke” earlier in the tournament. Nevertheless, there was no real threat to MLG’s money making plot – Classic would still win nationals as they had also reached the finals. However, MLG were wrong in their assumption that BTH would throw the final. Instead, BTH stormed to victory, taking home $100,000 and infuriating the board behind all of MLG’s schemes. The master corporate puppeteers were left with a problem. They needed to punish BTH but it was difficult to do it subtly. Disqualifying them from the tournament and denying them the $100,000 would have looked incredibly suspicious. Forcing BTH to retire would also have looked strange: the team consisted of young, up and coming players. Why would they retire after winning a nationals? In the end, MLG forced the team to seperate.

Chapter Three: A Familiar Ogre
This was to be MLG’s first entirely scripted season and their future expansion depended heavily on the success of their plan. Without a ‘star’ team, MLG did not have any truely marketable group of four. Since joining the professional ranks, twin brothers Roy and Lunchbox had been popular players. Along with them, MLG recognized Clouds remarkable slaying ability and Elamite Warrior’s inspirational communication. MLG decided to put these teams together and hand them two undisputed tournaments to ensure the MLG followers would be lured to support. As seen before in pervious senarios, teams who have a seemingly high possibility of winning several events in succession attract a large fan base as the core fan base of MLG appears to be obsessed with dynasties (although Triggers Down is somewhat of an exception to this rule).

Instinct were on the brink of a ‘three-peat’ but MLG decided to play some epic Pokémon music and break out their secret weapon: Ogre 2. If ever there was a player that could carry a league on his back, Ogre 2 is that player. Exceptionally popular and amazingly talented, MLG deemed it fitting that such a historical player, along with his team Final Boss, should return from their incredibly long slumber and re-establish their dominance, becoming the first team to win three tournaments back to back in Halo 3. There was also another important point that would make Ogre 2 highly marketable: if he was to win the 2010 nationals, it would mean that he would have won every single final Halo national championships.

When MLG formulated this plan, the dollar signs were clear to be seen in their eyes. Final Boss’ victory cemented people’s love for MLG, not to mention SQ’s non-too accidental promotion to a second place finish. A placing which was planned in great detail. SQ had been appointed the season underdogs at the beginning of the 2010 season. Every dog has its day but SQ didn’t get to enjoy theirs until Tsquared was picked up as coach, allowing him to claim a large amount of credit for SQ ”breaking their fourth place finish curse”, making T2 likeable and more imporatntly, marketable. It’s also worth noting that there is a possibility MLG fixed a 3rd Place finish for Instinct because of Cloud’s disobedience during  the BTH scandal in 2009. Triggers Down’s fourth place placing could also have been scripted because of ToTz and Hysteria’s decision to drop SK (MLG’s inside man on Triggers Down).

Chapter Four: A Business Decision
It’s impossible to talk about MLG without mentioning their expansion in the production of various other types of media entertainment besides gaming. “Ultimate Gaming House” or UGH was their first endeavor into a bigger world. It’s important we take a look at a brief outline of the basic premis of UGH. A person submits a video, talking through their awful gaming setup and why they deserve to win. MLG then picks a ”deserving” winner and hooks them up with an impressive aray of gaming equipment and accessories such as high-end monitors and laptops, consoles, headsets and Gunnar glasses (obviously all approved by MLG and MLG sponsors). In addition, the winner was introduced to a Halo 3 pro and then spent the day with them while their room was upgraded. Now, obviously, the pro Halo 3 player was a member of Str8 Rippin (the planned collapse of Str8 Rippin put an end to this but, notably, MLG have recruited popular sports players in what we believe is a bid to improve MLG’s popularity and solidify MLG’s claim that gaming is a sport) because of the Dr Pepper sponsorship, hence the name “The Dr Pepper Ultimate Gaming House.”

Few people actually know that UGH is a farce. Evidence can be found in in the latest episode, in which the winner was StrawberryShrtKate, a girl from Michigan with a plight completely undeserving. She said that she has been playing Halo for years, that her favorite team was Str8 Rippin and her favorite drink is Dr Pepper but one interesting search showed that her highest skill in MLG was 11, and that she has only played around 21 games. In comparison to real fans, her evident minimal interest in MLG was not deserving of a UGH. Did MLG think that she truely deserved it or did they just plan to break the gender barrier that exists in gaming? Clearly the latter is the logical choice (ogham’s razor to the rescue once again) as it would open up another demographic to MLG which they could suck money from: (stupid) females.

It’s also worth noting that the show is called ”Ultimate Gaming House” instead of ”Ultimate Gaming Room” which would be a much more accurate title, considering the team only upgrade a single room. Perhaps MLG is trying to fool us into thinking that one day they will make over an entire house? Blatant lies perhaps.

Chapter Five: Best Taken in Moderation
MajorLeagueGaming.com is a community focused website featuring forums and other useful features for fans that allow them to interact with the league. Within the forums, there are several “staff” (I use this term loosely because as far as we know, they’re not paid) called moderators. Moderators are tasked with enforcing the rules of the forum. The rules are largely simple – no spam, no trolling, no personal insults etc. There is, however, a secret rule aimed at moderators – “All staff are expected to be as strict as possible when dealing with rule breakers. There are no exceptions. And remember, your judgement is sound and whatever you post is always fair and balanced. ” That seems fair enough, right? Indeed, anyone who breaks the rules will be subject to a swift banning from the hawk like moderators who are always watching.

Life as a moderator would appear to be easy. It seems you can’t go wrong if you followed the guidelines. However, a former MLG forum moderator, who wishes to remain anonymous agreed to talk to us in an attempt to expose the cruel punishments enforced by administrators on moderators when they step out of line during their continuous, 24 hour shifts.

Here is the transcript:

Fuck it, Puckectt: What was life within the MLG staff like?
Anon: It was terrifying. Everyday I would receive a list of people that had to be banned from MLG, for speaking the truth and sometimes for no reason at all. I would also converse daily with my fellow MLG staff, who would refer to the MLG forum posters and forum posters as cows being led to the slaughter, being milked etc and as fools. I lived everyday with the fear of being “banned” permanently or worse: suffering a spanking from Nexy. People often wonder why he doesn’t commentate anymore. I can tell you it’s because he spends his time spanking moderators until their ass cheeks bleed! [The interviewee was clearly extremely distressed at this point]

Fuck it, Puckett: I’m sorry for your plight. How did you escape MLG?
Anon: Well I just decided enough was enough and fled the country, I’m currently living in Canada, undercover, trying to spread to the word but so far, I’ve had no success. The moderators who remain under the thumb of MLG are brain washed zombies, recruited by MLG’s secret board. They’re slaves!

Fuck it, Puckett: How did you find yourself working for MLG?
Anon: [At this point the interviewee broke down in tears and ran from the room.]

We attribute his breakdown during the last question to a memory of sexual blackmail at the hands of DMAQ.

Quotes Exposing MLG
“I don’t really care about the 50th event, I’m going to win the 50th, 51st and 52nd” – Ogre 2 (obviously he knew the event placings were pre-determined)

“Uhh, it was like taking candy from a baby … but wait, wait, wait …. a baby would have put up a better fight” – Walshy (after defeating his former team Final Boss, another nod to MLG’s match fixing. The awkard, nervous silence from the commentators at this point proves that Walshy’s comment was pushing the boundaries of what players could say with regard to match fixing.)

“When I get shot at, I challenge to see if he can kill me” – Legit (referring to his Halo 3 strategy, showing he gives other team kills so Str8 Rippin can lose in accordance with MLG wishes).

Conclusion
It’s entirely simple. MLG is a business, set up to make money or to be more specific, a large profit. It’s not surprising that they would go to great lengths to do that and their success is commendable but the often disgusting methods they use to execute their plans is quite distressing, particularly with regard to the moderators.

FUCK IT, PUCKETT.
Liberally penned by Narruc and Shake with passionate input from Kevin. 

For my good friends, without whom I would be sane. (Also, all the MLG sponsors: Dr Pepper, Old Spice, Doritos, BIC and the rest)

”I think Neighbor is a cancer.” – Roy

Foreword
When we refer to ourselves as the biggest MLG fans this side of the Atlantic, we’re not lying. We’ve followed MLG closely since 2008, keeping close track of all the player transfers, tournament results, sponsorship deals and even, to a small extent, the personal lives of the MLG staff. This conspiracy theory is not meant to slander the good name of MLG in any way (although we do actually believe it’s true, we just can’t find concrete proof). If our theory does nothing but entertain you then we would be quite happy with that. We recognize that without any substantial evidence, our claims have no basis and that they will not have the profound affect upon you that we would hope for. However, if you could shelve your logic for a few moments, it would go along way in helping you see things from our perspective.

Introduction
Remember, believing is seeing.

Chapter One: Puckett my man!
It’s funny the things you talk about when you’re in a party with your friends and you’re playing some Halo 3 (CTF Onslaught to be exact). What’s even funnier is when you pretend to be scoring the final flag for Str8 Rippin in their 2008 national championships final game against Instinct. What is funnier again is when you start announcing your victory of the 08 nationals despite only scoring the fourth flag, before you friend does an impression of a nervous Sundance DiGiovanni telling Puckett to calm down while trying not to make it obvious that he’s furious with him for letting slip that the entire tournament was a fix.

Let’s take a look at the ”evidence”. Final Boss dropped Walshy earlier in the season – because of this, they were no longer marketable. We suspect that at this point, MLG decided that in order to protect the league and the success of their company, they would have to intervene. (It’s also worth wondering if Final Boss’ reign of domination was too long. Perhaps the league was becoming too boring and that money making opportunities were dwindling due to worrying lack of diversity in the teams.) Final Boss completely slipped off the radar, yet the fan favourite, Walshy, ended up in the season’s national championship finals, against all odds. On the other side, we had Str8 Rippin. A team who lost, arguably their best player, but was replaced by an up and coming star that many young fans could relate to, or at least believed they could. Besides the addition of Snip3down to the team, Str8 Rippin made one another crucial pick up: Dr Pepper.

Obviously, Str8’s performances would dictate how much money they would earn for themselves and MLG. Hence, Str8 Rippin were awarded the tournament by the powers that be at MLG. Puckett made a critical error, though, and exposed their plots for exploitation. Some argue that Str8 were always going to win the final game against Instinct but a seasoned commentator like Puckett knows that anything can happen in Halo and would not have made the mistake under normal circumstances.

Chapter Two: Rat Face in a Rat Race
For their perfect role in MLG’s money making scheme during the 08 National Championships, Str8 Rippin were rewarded with not only $100,000, but also a house in which they could live and practice in, improving on their teamwork to continue their league dominance and winning the approval of Dr Pepper. Unbeknownst to Str8, however, MLG sabotaged their new ‘Str8nctuary’ so that they could not connect to the internet and subsequently failed to get enough practice to win the 2009 season opener. We believe that MLG wanted to ‘mix things up.’ Str8 came back strong, though, and won out convincingly in Columbus. This appeased Str8 fans but their high was about to come to and end.

MLG decided that the role of dominance should shift to another popular team: Triggers Down. An underdog was also chosen, Believe the Hype, led by Cloud who would cause ripples in the swimming pool of MLG before making an absolute wave at the end of the season and leaving no water in the pool.

Triggers Down enjoyed a great degree of success. Despite, however, their text book halo and iGotUrPistola’s exceptional slaying, they could not win over the fans. Fearful of losing sponsors, MLG came to the conclusion that an element of nostalgia was necessary and decided that the 2009 nationals should be awarded to an old fan favourite, Team Classic, in order to boost revenue from merchandise sales at events. MLG hoped that this would spark more interest in Halo 3 from die hard Halo 2 fans and arouse the interest of sponsors. Popular Halo veteran, Ghostayame, was appointed to lead Team Classic to victory in the 2009 nationals while also developing an entirely new style of Halo. BTH, appointed underdogs by MLG earlier in the season, had different plans.

Triggers Down were deemed unstoppable by many Halo enthusiasts. They were firm favourites to take home the 2009 nationals and MLG acknowledged that it would take something remarkable to stop them, without raising suspicisions from astute viewers. They decided that a hardware malfunction was the best way to go about it, seemingly killing all of TD’s momentum and allowing Classic to rally and produce an immense comeback. We believe Hysteria’s Xbox was programmed to ‘red ring’ at a certain point in the game. Such an event is not likely to happen accidentally, especially in a national championship. Surely if MLG ran legitimate tournaments they would test their hardware extensively, particularly the Xboxs used on the main stage.

By this point, Believe the Hype had established themselves as somewhat of a rebellious team that did not play within the normal parameters of a Halo team. They continued this in the 09 nationals, making it all the way to the finals. MLG were furious as they had been told to ”choke” earlier in the tournament. Nevertheless, there was no real threat to MLG’s money making plot – Classic would still win nationals as they had also reached the finals. However, MLG were wrong in their assumption that BTH would throw the final. Instead, BTH stormed to victory, taking home $100,000 and infuriating the board behind all of MLG’s schemes. The master corporate puppeteers were left with a problem. They needed to punish BTH but it was difficult to do it subtly. Disqualifying them from the tournament and denying them the $100,000 would have looked incredibly suspicious. Forcing BTH to retire would also have looked strange: the team consisted of young, up and coming players. Why would they retire after winning a nationals? In the end, MLG forced the team to seperate.

Chapter Three: A Familiar Ogre
This was to be MLG’s first entirely scripted season and their future expansion depended heavily on the success of their plan. Without a ‘star’ team, MLG did not have any truely marketable group of four. Since joining the professional ranks, twin brothers Roy and Lunchbox had been popular players. Along with them, MLG recognized Clouds remarkable slaying ability and Elamite Warrior’s inspirational communication. MLG decided to put these teams together and hand them two undisputed tournaments to ensure the MLG followers would be lured to support. As seen before in pervious senarios, teams who have a seemingly high possibility of winning several events in succession attract a large fan base as the core fan base of MLG appears to be obsessed with dynasties (although Triggers Down is somewhat of an exception to this rule).

Instinct were on the brink of a ‘three-peat’ but MLG decided to play some epic Pokémon music and break out their secret weapon: Ogre 2. If ever there was a player that could carry a league on his back, Ogre 2 is that player. Exceptionally popular and amazingly talented, MLG deemed it fitting that such a historical player, along with his team Final Boss, should return from their incredibly long slumber and re-establish their dominance, becoming the first team to win three tournaments back to back in Halo 3. There was also another important point that would make Ogre 2 highly marketable: if he was to win the 2010 nationals, it would mean that he would have won every single final Halo national championships.

When MLG formulated this plan, the dollar signs were clear to be seen in their eyes. Final Boss’ victory cemented people’s love for MLG, not to mention SQ’s non-too accidental promotion to a second place finish. A placing which was planned in great detail. SQ had been appointed the season underdogs at the beginning of the 2010 season. Every dog has its day but SQ didn’t get to enjoy theirs until Tsquared was picked up as coach, allowing him to claim a large amount of credit for SQ ”breaking their fourth place finish curse”, making T2 likeable and more imporatntly, marketable. It’s also worth noting that there is a possibility MLG fixed a 3rd Place finish for Instinct because of Cloud’s disobedience during  the BTH scandal in 2009. Triggers Down’s fourth place placing could also have been scripted because of ToTz and Hysteria’s decision to drop SK (MLG’s inside man on Triggers Down).

Chapter Four: A Business Decision
It’s impossible to talk about MLG without mentioning their expansion in the production of various other types of media entertainment besides gaming. “Ultimate Gaming House” or UGH was their first endeavor into a bigger world. It’s important we take a look at a brief outline of the basic premis of UGH. A person submits a video, talking through their awful gaming setup and why they deserve to win. MLG then picks a ”deserving” winner and hooks them up with an impressive aray of gaming equipment and accessories such as high-end monitors and laptops, consoles, headsets and Gunnar glasses (obviously all approved by MLG and MLG sponsors). In addition, the winner was introduced to a Halo 3 pro and then spent the day with them while their room was upgraded. Now, obviously, the pro Halo 3 player was a member of Str8 Rippin (the planned collapse of Str8 Rippin put an end to this but, notably, MLG have recruited popular sports players in what we believe is a bid to improve MLG’s popularity and solidify MLG’s claim that gaming is a sport) because of the Dr Pepper sponsorship, hence the name “The Dr Pepper Ultimate Gaming House.”

Few people actually know that UGH is a farce. Evidence can be found in in the latest episode, in which the winner was StrawberryShrtKate, a girl from Michigan with a plight completely undeserving. She said that she has been playing Halo for years, that her favorite team was Str8 Rippin and her favorite drink is Dr Pepper but one interesting search showed that her highest skill in MLG was 11, and that she has only played around 21 games. In comparison to real fans, her evident minimal interest in MLG was not deserving of a UGH. Did MLG think that she truely deserved it or did they just plan to break the gender barrier that exists in gaming? Clearly the latter is the logical choice (ogham’s razor to the rescue once again) as it would open up another demographic to MLG which they could suck money from: (stupid) females.

It’s also worth noting that the show is called ”Ultimate Gaming House” instead of ”Ultimate Gaming Room” which would be a much more accurate title, considering the team only upgrade a single room. Perhaps MLG is trying to fool us into thinking that one day they will make over an entire house? Blatant lies perhaps.

Chapter Five: Best Taken in Moderation
MajorLeagueGaming.com is a community focused website featuring forums and other useful features for fans that allow them to interact with the league. Within the forums, there are several “staff” (I use this term loosely because as far as we know, they’re not paid) called moderators. Moderators are tasked with enforcing the rules of the forum. The rules are largely simple – no spam, no trolling, no personal insults etc. There is, however, a secret rule aimed at moderators – “All staff are expected to be as strict as possible when dealing with rule breakers. There are no exceptions. And remember, your judgement is sound and whatever you post is always fair and balanced. ” That seems fair enough, right? Indeed, anyone who breaks the rules will be subject to a swift banning from the hawk like moderators who are always watching.

Life as a moderator would appear to be easy. It seems you can’t go wrong if you followed the guidelines. However, a former MLG forum moderator, who wishes to remain anonymous agreed to talk to us in an attempt to expose the cruel punishments enforced by administrators on moderators when they step out of line during their continuous, 24 hour shifts.

Here is the transcript:

Fuck it, Puckectt: What was life within the MLG staff like?
Anon: It was terrifying. Everyday I would receive a list of people that had to be banned from MLG, for speaking the truth and sometimes for no reason at all. I would also converse daily with my fellow MLG staff, who would refer to the MLG forum posters and forum posters as cows being led to the slaughter, being milked etc and as fools. I lived everyday with the fear of being “banned” permanently or worse: suffering a spanking from Nexy. People often wonder why he doesn’t commentate anymore. I can tell you it’s because he spends his time spanking moderators until their ass cheeks bleed! [The interviewee was clearly extremely distressed at this point]

Fuck it, Puckett: I’m sorry for your plight. How did you escape MLG?
Anon: Well I just decided enough was enough and fled the country, I’m currently living in Canada, undercover, trying to spread to the word but so far, I’ve had no success. The moderators who remain under the thumb of MLG are brain washed zombies, recruited by MLG’s secret board. They’re slaves!

Fuck it, Puckett: How did you find yourself working for MLG?
Anon: [At this point the interviewee broke down in tears and ran from the room.]

We attribute his breakdown during the last question to a memory of sexual blackmail at the hands of DMAQ.

Conclusion
It’s entirely simple. MLG is a business, set up to make money or to be more specific, a large profit. It’s not surprising that they would go to great lengths to do that and their success is commendable but the often disgusting methods they use to execute their plans is quite distressing, particularly with regard to the moderators.

Quotes Exposing MLG
“I don’t really care about the 50th event, I’m going to win the 50th, 51st and 52nd” – Ogre 2 (obviously he knew the event placings were pre-determined)

“Uhh, it was like taking candy from a baby … but wait, wait, wait …. a baby would have put up a better fight” – Walshy (after defeating his former team Final Boss, another nod to MLG’s match fixing. The awkard, nervous silence from the commentators at this point proves that Walshy’s comment was pushing the boundaries of what players could say with regard to match fixing.)

“When I get shot at, I challenge to see if he can kill me” – Legit (referring to his Halo 3 strategy, showing he gives other team kills so Str8 Rippin can lose in accordance with MLG wishes)

Why there have been no posts

Posted: October 29, 2010 by Narruc in Life

I seriously doubt we have any regular readers but if we do and you’re one of them, you may be wondering why we haven’t posted anything for close to a week now.

The reason for this is all three of us who write on this blog were ‘Lanning’. You’re probably asking ”what’s Lanning?” People often say that ‘lanning’ is when a group of gamers meet in one place and game over a local area network (LAN) hence the term ‘lanning.’

Lanning is actually (usually) a group of guys in a room together, awkwardly aware of the fact that what they’re doing is incredibly nerdy and would be highly frowned upon in almost all regular social groups.

Nevertheless, it’s very fun.

Play of the Week 10/10/10

Posted: October 10, 2010 by Narruc in Play of the Week

To do List

Posted: October 7, 2010 by Narruc in Life

1. Study plan

2. Your mother (now that that’s out of the way…)

3. Buy more tshirts from threadless

4. Do some proper homework

5. Write decent length essays

6. Improve my lists

7. Buy some nice jeans

8. Write, produce, direct, shoot and act in a funny video

9. Get an iPod Touch

10. Decide on a college course

11. Start my own fast food chain

I think it’s important to note that these objectives are not listed in order of importance. Quite a few of them are also, highly unrealistic but, hey, a man can dream.

I am lazy

Posted: October 6, 2010 by Narruc in Life

I don’t think it’s possible for me to become anymore lazy than I currently am. Even the effort involved in writing that previous sentence was monumental. To put things in perspective for you, I’ll provide a brief (and concise) outline of my usual day: come home from school at 3:40, eat ’til 4, browse the internet until 6, take a two hour nap, browse the internet again for about three to four hours then read a book for about thirty minutes. That’s right: the only productive thing I do in my eight hours of free time is read a few pages of a book (‘No Country for Old Men’ in case you were wondering).

I’m in my final year of school and with the leaving cert just a mere eight months away, you would expect me to at least be doing a little homework or study but no, the most I can manage is a little procrastination here and there. Judging by what people have been telling me, I will probably come to regret being a lazy bastard when the leaving cert does roll around but to be honest, it just takes too much effort to think about right now.

Like I mentioned in my opening, I normally take a nap roughly from 6-8pm.  When I think about it now, that’s not really a nap but a long slumber. An excuse simply not to do any study. I have two tests tomorrow and I can’t motivate myself to do a single bit of study for them! What is wrong with me?

I guess I’ve always been a bare minimum kind of guy but it’s getting out of hand now. So far out of hand, in fact, that it may become too far me to reach without stretching, thereby having to make an enormous physical effort! Oh well. I guess I’ll just refer to the lazy old adage – ”I’m fucked.”

Play of the Week 3/10/2010

Posted: October 3, 2010 by Narruc in Play of the Week

The play of the week title for the past seven days I have devided will be awarded to the writer of this article:

Eight Pokemon revelations you may have never noticed.

Go read it. Now.

Play of the Week 26/9/2010

Posted: September 26, 2010 by Narruc in Play of the Week

Let me start by saying that I am in no way a bird fanatic and have never found them particularly interesting. However, when you tell me about a camera that has been strapped to an eagle which can travel at up to 200 MPH, you begin to arouse my interest.

Check out the full story here.

Play of the Week 19/9/2010

Posted: September 19, 2010 by Narruc in Play of the Week

This guy has, arguably, the scariest job the world. You can make up your own mind. Personally, I think he’s slightly insane.

Play of the Week 12/9/2010

Posted: September 12, 2010 by Narruc in Play of the Week

This weeks ‘play of the week’ does not fit with the usual light heartedness that normally accompanies these posts. However, Brian Wood’s unbelievable act of bravery cannot go unmentioned.  Mr. Woods made the ultimate sacrafice any man can make for his family by laying down his life to protect them. This story is truely inspiring and there’s nothing more I think I have to add.

Read the full story here.